Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Life

You know, I've spent recent days reflecting on my life... Much in part to the fact that things right now in this country and in this world are pretty horrible... And you know what I found?? I'm pretty darn blessed. I have the most amazing, loving, caring, wonderful, intelligent, and handsome husband in the world. We were blessed with the most precious thing in our lives, out little angel Paetynn. I have a mother and father who are the most amazing role models a person could ask for. I have two wonderful sisters who, through much maturation on my part, I have been able to build amazing relationships with. I have an extended family who I am so close to that I love to spend time with that is filled with some of the most loving people someone could ever meet. I have a small, tight, close knit, circle of friends who I know would do anything for me as I would for them. And to top it all off I have a fulfilling job getting to do something that I love while still being able to be a "stay at home mom." I really am blessed.

Over the last few weeks I've encountered various things that I have needed advice for. And here I was able to go not just to my husband or my best friend. But I had the support and advice from both my sisters and my mom... And to be honest there was a time in my life where I wouldn't have ever gone to them because I was immature and idiotic enough to not understand how important it is to have a strong relationship with your mother and sisters. I always felt like the black sheep of the family. I was the youngest and the most extroverted. I didn't enjoy the things that the rest of my family did, especially school. I'd rather be out with my friends or inside the dance studio perfecting my craft. But with age comes awakening and wisdom. I realized that regardless of the differences that you may have with those in your immediate family, they are your family, and they love you and support you unconditionally. And unfortunately that was something that I had to learn on my own and I'm just thankful right now that I wasn't too late.

I really have two amazing sisters. Both of been there for me in many different ways. My sister Jessica and I used to fight constantly!! Much because growing up we had to share a room, but also because we were around each other more. But as we each got older we started to realize how much we were alike and that helped us bond in so many ways and I am truly thankful... As for my oldest sister Jocelynn... What can't I say about her? She is probably one of the most intelligent, driven, caring people you could meet. She is someone that I look up to in so many ways. I wish that I had an ounce of her educational drive. She has inspired me in so many ways. She has become someone who I turn to for advice and discussion and whose opinion means a lot to me. You have to understand, that there was a time when none of this meant anything to me because I was young, selfish and stupid. I truly took for granted not only Jocelynn but Jessica as well... I didn't trust what being sisters meant and what positive things could come out of relying on your sisters for so many different things... But today I am truly thankful that I was able to get out of my own way and create the relationship that I have with both of them... But I'm even more grateful that God brought Jocelynn and her family back to Sacramento for the first time in 14 years... It is so nice to be able to spend the time with her, my brother in law and my nephew as much as I want... I missed her (and them) more than I ever knew!!

So for everyone, take a look at your life and the people in it... And if you feel that you don't have the kind of relationship that you want or should have with any one of them, do something to fix it, because chances are you're missing out on something absolutely amazing!!

2 comments:

Jessica said...

I loved your post. That was so inspiring and refreshing. I am so glad that you have such close relationships with your loved ones and you recognize how important they are. I really believe relationships are one of the most important things that we have in this life. I certainly need to do better to nurture the ones with my own family. Thanks for the motivation. It is amazing how you grow up and realize what really matters in life. I'm so grateful for that as well. Thanks for posting.

Jocelynn+ said...

Thanks so much - this acknowledgment means a lot to me. There were many times when I thought I should just give up on our relationship - esp. when you decided to leave TCU. We had barely spoken that whole year you were in college; and all I remember is you not being able to 'afford' to come to my master's graduation, but then bragging about having some kind of spa day with your friends. That hurt so much, and even when I told you that, I didn't think it made much of an impact. But of course, I couldn't turn my back on you despite my feelings and proceeded to invite you to FL to live with me. Despite the negative things that happened (another test of our relationship) I still count that as such blessed time. I feel lucky that we had that time - as adults - to live together. It sounds strange, because I knew you still didn't trust me even then, and that you still didn't really consider me a friend, but I'm still grateful we had that time together. I guess I can't really explain it.

Long story short, I'm thankful that I kept trying and that we have overcome the things we have. You and I are so different, but when I really look at it, I think we are actually really alike, and have a lot in common. I, too, am beyond grateful that our kids can grow up together and that we can have special relationships with our niece/nephew. What a gift to them, and to us!!! I'm grateful we can have fun together, and can lean on each other, and that we are - hopefully - forging a true friendship. I feel like we are.

This post means a lot to me. Thanks again for saying it.